What makes for a meaningful relationship? On 27 April 2013 Saturday, about a dozen folks took time off from the election heat to look for some answers to this question.
The speaker for the day, Ms Chua Boon Ling from Clove & Clive, gave a clear and concise explanation despite the complexity of such a topic. She pointed out that more often than not, when we are dealing with a situation , or interacting with someone, one tends to get caught up with one’s own emotions and others’, which lead us to display negative attitudes and actions. A main cause stems from our preconceptions and expectations of how and what others should be. This distracts us from the main objective of a meaningful relationship, which is to fulfil a need. Boon Ling emphasized that in any engagement, one should focus on one’s needs as well as other’s. When that is in place, a fulfilling relationship will usually develop which will benefit both or all parties.
Boon ling managed to squeeze some time out for the attendees to pair up to engage in role play where one party wears the hat of the jackal , while the other the hat of a giraffe. The jackal being the ‘ bad’ guy while the giraffe is above self centred concerns. Everyone got a hands on experience of how our feelings and thoughts influence us to be less genuine than our real self.
After the talk ended, everyone showed their appreciation by having a group photo taken with Boon Ling. Because committee members felt the talk is well presented and plan to invite Boon Ling to share again in near future so that more will benefit from it.
Our expectations often drown the inner needs of our loved ones thus preventing us from having a meaningful relationship with others.